Life is Good

For the first time since we lived in China I'm doing really well. Now, let me clarify...
Ever since my senior year in college my relationship with God has been fairly strong. There hasn't been much to really rock that in a major way. Our first year of marriage was tough, but we got married young. When I realized that my job was going to be telling people why I believe what I believe, I then examined my faith and stood firmer in my faith.
For the school year that we lived in China I was challenged more than EVER if I really want to follow God with my whole heart and with my life. Although I fought God that year, I also spent most weekday afternoons reading my Bible and journaling. I was frustrated with God, but really I was frustrated with myself because I was seeing the sin in my heart that was deep within and I hated it! Anyway, I some how came out of that year stronger in my relationship with God.
Then Alex was born.
My world was really rocked again. I have lived a really coushy life. A life with no hardship, a life of luxury and a life where I mostly got what I wanted. I'm very thankful that my family never struggled with bills or food or clothes. God blessed us. However, it has set my expectations too high.
So when Alex was born and he had colic, was covered with eczema, had reflux, and was an extremely demanding baby I was angry with God. How could he give me a child this difficult! Why did God hate me so much?
Alex stopped napping in January (he'll be 3 Oct 12th). Lilia is so extraverted that she hated being alone. Therefore I never got alone time. I was going and going and going every day, never tapping into the source that gives me strength - Jesus.
For a LONG time I resented the needy baby Alex was and I was angry with God for not making Alex easier. Leave it to having children to see how messed up, selfish, and sinful we truly are!
Thanks to my parents and my in-laws and their love for us and the grandkids, we made it through the first couple of years.
Now everything has changed...for the better!
Lilia is in full day Kindergarten and she loves it! Alex and I get QUALITY time each day. I remember when he was born. As I held him in the hospital bed I looked at him so lovingly, so fondly. I called him my little buddy. Finally that day has come! We're buddies! We hang out at parks, museums, the zoo and at home and just have fun together. It's wonderful!
Yes, he still requires supernatural amounts of patience, but because Lilia is in school I have the capability to give that to him - with God's help of course. The best part is that almost every week day I get to spend time with God, reading my Bible and praying some. That's been the real turning point for me.
So now life is good. I'm thankful for hardship because it draws us closer to Jesus. Now I feel like I'm living out of thankfulness and joy! Praise be to God!