Too High

I am a huge analyzer. I mean HUGE! I analyze everything. I love knowing what makes people tick. I love to analyze myself too. Tonight I come up with a new discovery about myself. I came to the conclusion that it could be a self-destructive thing. So...he it goes...
High Expectations.
I don't just mean High, I mean REALLY HIGH Expectations. I know that's why my year in Asia was so difficult for me. I remember while I was student teaching I had an amazing co-operating teacher. She was the best. Well I gave myself the expectations to be as good as Miss Mckevitt. How could I have attained to that. She's been doing it for 10 years, me not even a month!
Now as a mom I have super high expectations for myself and for my kids and how they should act. I have a few influences in my life from the past and present of "super moms." These are moms that are naturally great at being a mom. I put expectations on myself to be like them. To be a "super mom". Now my parents would argue you to the grave that I'm a great mom, but they are partial, so they don't count (totally). Sorry mom & dad.
Anyway, that's not the point at all! The point is the dangerous road to which this will lead me. I will aways be disappointed. Always. I will be let down by anyone or anything I put high expectations on. So what do I do? How do I turn away from this road? I don't know.
The only thing I know is that I can fully put high expectations in Jesus because he already paid the penalty for me, but how do I live that out in my everyday life? How does that fact translate into this "super mom" thing?
To be contemplated...