I have to confess that since Alex was 3 weeks old I've had a really hard time in my relationship with God. It has nothing to do with no time to spend with him. Actually I've realized that I believe that God owes me an easy life. I believe that I deserve for him to make things better.
Let me explain it better. When Alex was 3 weeks old is when the trouble started and it's only progressed. Lilia was a model child and so we were spoiled. She was sleeping through the night by 3 months. I know I can't compare and I'm realizing that Lilia wasn't the norm. However, I can't help but constantly plead with God and yell at him that Alex has had it so rough.
I know in one way that God doesn't owe me anything. Even eternity in heaven is more than I deserve, but I can't help but still get so angry at God that Alex isn't more "normal."
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